Realizing the one thing that matters to me the most after all.

Have you ever come to this sudden realization that you have already found what you were looking for all this while? And the funny thing is even though you know you might not even see the thing you wanna see anymore, you still hope for the best and fantasize about the day when you finally do meet that special thing again.

What will I say?

How will I react?

Will I pretend not to see and walk away?

Or will I finally pluck up that little bit of courage left in me to fight for the only shot I will ever get?

Just when you think you got over it, everything comes back to you just by seeing things that reminds you of the past. Its highly irritating and distracting to be reminded of a past that you never fought for but regretted later. And the best part is, unless you let go of that past, you will never allow a future into your life.

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On a less abstract note, (abstract coz I bet noone will know who the hell I am talking about) yesterday's performance went rather badly for me. This was the first time I actually forgot my lyrics right from the start of the performance! And to scurry off in shame after that did not helped. I was thinking of all the glam ways I could have made my exit. Like thank my frends at least who cheered for me when I forgot my lyrics. They were damn on cue I tell you haha. Oh well, the nerves really got to me yesterday. I am still baffled at how I even got so nervous in the first place man. But I guess all great people have their "moments". ahahahahaha!! Yeah, very "great" indeed. But still. I really kicked myself for performing so badly for the hall.

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So yet another uneventful day has passed. Sometimes I would really want NTU to be located in town. That way, when I have free days, I can just hop right down and do some massive damage to my wallet! hahah.